This is a brilliant article, and great advice.

It doesn't quite seem like it in the middle of an argument, but it's not about 'winning.' If something is worth arguing about, there's probably not an obvious right or wrong side to it. That's why I love this idea of defusing the conflict, and then coming back to it in a more open-minded and loving way. So much healthier to do that than to either go all out on the argument, OR forget it ever existed. Conflict tells us a lot about our partners / colleagues' beliefs / feelings, so it's important to defuse and return, not forget it.