Thank you for sharing so vulnerably and with such rawness.

I think there is a caveat here about anti-depressant usage, however.

There is scientific research that shows, for some people, there is a genuine issue with the brain that leads to depression. If someone is one of those people who don’t have efficient neurological connectivity within the brain, they do need the medication for regulation purposes.

I firmly believe that we are the creators of all of our thoughts, and if we’re proven to have fully healthy brain chemistry, depression does become about changing the way we think about the world. But that’s on us too.

You say that taking an anti-depressant would feel like accepting there’s something wrong with you and your make up.

I get that we want to avoid the self-blame, since depression isn’t our fault, no matter what the cause.

BUT blaming society feels pointless to me - you can’t change society.

If I was to let myself believe my depression and anxiety are purely on account of society, I’d do nothing about changing myself.

My depression’s cure lies with me. It may not be my fault I have depression, but it is my responsibility to do what I can to change it and find ways that avoid blaming the world or my past.

The symptoms may stem from past trauma, but unless I accept they happened and quit the blame cycle, I will never be able to move through the depression.

For me, depression has been an active journey of 23 years so far. Only in recent years has it eased when I’ve been willing to stop blaming past trauma and take time to realise that the only person responsible for my negative thinking in the here and now is ME. I choose to dwell on past traumas, and not do the work to move past them. I choose my thoughts. I also choose to take medication.

I’m glad you’re acknowledging the journey you’re on, and making the choices you feel you need to make. We are all different, but we all choose our thoughts / make decisions to move on from blaming our trauma.