Stop Aspiring to Be What You’re Not, and Start Being It
How often do you tell yourself that you’re TRYING to be rich, or ASPIRING to be a coach, or HOPING to be a homeowner? It’s time to start BEING those things — here’s how!
“I aspire to be wealthy.”
“I’m trying to get to 1,000,000 downloads on my podcast.”
“I’m hoping to buy an apartment in the city.”
How often do you use words like “aspire,” “try,” and “hope”?
I’m here to break the news to you that the likelihood of you getting any of the things you put after those verbs is low.
Let’s take the definition of “aspire” as an example:
“To long, aim, or seek ambitiously; be eagerly desirous, especially for something great or of high value”
Dictionary.com
Where in that definition does it state that if you aspire to have something, you will receive it? It doesn’t. It’s all coyness and caveats, hopes, and aims. It’s “trying” by a posher name.
The things I desire and work on manifesting are never aspirations. For me, they are cast-iron guarantees, provided I do the work the universe needs me to. The universe is looking for me to vibrate at the same energy as the thing I desire so strongly. Only then will the universe put it in motion for me to get what I desire.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that I have to become the type of person to get whatever it is that I am manifesting. I can’t show up as my old self — if I were able to be my old self and get whatever it was I desired, I’d have already had it!
I wasn’t trying to find the new version of myself that fit with what I wanted, I was already her.
It’s difficult to understand the seriousness with which the universe takes manifestation. You may manifest a dollar bill with little personality change, but the bigger things? They need you to do the work.
The magnificent wins you desire need you to do more than aspire, more than try, they need you to BE.
Every time you use language that casts doubt on what you’re manifesting, the universe hears you. It realises that the more you speculate about whether you’ll get the thing, the less ready you are to receive it. The universe wants you to vibrate with similar energy to the thing, and to others who already have it.
Not only must you believe you can get anything you desire, but you must also behave as though you already have it.
Let’s take, for example, people who win huge sums of money. Nearly one-third of lottery winners declare bankruptcy. This is quite a statistic considering how often we think money will solve our problems!
There are many reasons to declare bankruptcy: poor financial advice; ‘too much’ generosity; market crashes; and so on. But one of the greatest reasons that lottery winners can’t keep their money? They don’t believe they deserve it. Deep down, they don’t see themselves as someone who has millions in the bank, and so they self-sabotage. Their subconscious, to keep their identity beliefs (e.g. “I’m poor and always will be”), will lose all of the money.
We self-sabotage our own wins, lottery or otherwise, when we don’t believe we are the right person to have had them.
This self-sabotage is a protective measure. The subconscious doesn’t understand that we can go against our identity beliefs. It thinks that we don’t want to cause a ‘break’ between what we believe and what we have. Ultimately, it finds ways to ensure that what we have matches our beliefs.
Generational poverty has many reasons too, but a lack of belief in change is significant. When I hear people talk about their journey from poverty to wealth, they often say they had unshakeable self-belief. They acknowledged the poverty ‘story’ of their elders and committed to change it. That self-belief enabled them to end the intergenerational lack of money, employment, accommodation, and so on.
Let me share an example from my own life. I’ve wanted to be a million download podcast since I started, and I ‘kind of believed’ it would happen. I didn’t see any great uplifts in downloads from month to month. Two months ago, I started acting like a podcaster with one million downloads. I took episode research more seriously, worked hard on my presentation, and behaved like a Tim Ferriss or a Guy Raz.
So what happened?
I tripled my downloads in two months.
I proved to the universe that I’m the right podcaster to get to one million downloads.
The ‘Buts’
I can’t afford to be a wealthy person
Well, actually, you can afford it. Let’s take someone who is already wealthy, say, one of the Real Housewives, or a celebrity you admire.
When they buy a high-end sports car, what does that say about them?
When they talk about their weekly massages and manicures, what does that say about them?
These things show they’re rich enough to afford to buy the car, and invest in the spa treatments, but it goes far deeper. There are far more important definitions and beliefs behind what they do than simply “I am rich”.
The car they buy might show that they’re self-confident. They have the confidence that they can not only afford a car like that but also drive one. They’re not nervous about scratching a car that’s worth more than many people’s houses!
Those beauty treatments may be expensive, but to them the cost is insignificant. If we’re someone who invests in beauty treatments, we are someone who values our health and wellbeing. We are willing to spend time on our self-care.
It’s more than possible to take on the personality traits of a wealthy person with nothing in your bank account. Confidence, commitment to wellbeing, prioritisation of self-care: none of those things cost money.
I can’t be who I want to be until I have the right qualifications
Someone who was training to be a doctor asked me how to be the person who was deserving of a large medical practice. He told me that it was impossible to be that person because he was a licensed medic yet.
In the same way, the wealthy person is more than their bank account, the doctor is more than a qualification.
When you visit a physician, don’t you feel more reassured, when they display certain traits? Self-confidence, empathy, an ability to talk with clarity, and so on.
No matter what qualification you are awaiting, you can take on the characteristics, if not the actions, of someone who is qualified.
Conclusion
Wherever you are at now, you can make moves to take on the characteristics of those who already have what you want. You can be the person you wish to become now. Yes, before you’ve banked the millions, got the Malibu beach house, or whatever else you’re manifesting.
The more you believe, the more you become, the quicker you will manifest exactly what you desire.
Originally published at https://wildeaboutwellbeing.com on October 8, 2020.
