Holiday Hitches Worrying You? My Top Tips From Plan to Pool To Make Your Vacation Calmer

As someone without children, I think most people believe that going away for my husband and I is ‘child’s play’. It’s not. One of us (yeah, that’d be me!) is the type to panic if we’re away for even a night, and one of us (oh, me too!) is so desperate to find the perfect location for their partner, that they’ll ignore their own holiday needs.

Needless to say, we’ve had to do some work together on making holidays calmer and more relaxing for both of us. These are the exact steps we now use, and so far, they’ve worked well. We no longer wonder what the other person is thinking about the holiday: we’ve learned to be incredibly transparent about what works for us, and what doesn’t. If you’d rather listen to my tips and tricks than read them, check out the Wilde About Wellbeing podcast episode!

The ‘BEFORE’ Steps:

1. Destination Decisions – do this together! I used to plan the holiday all on my own, thinking of where my husband would want to go and then booking it. I always made assumptions that he would want super-adventurous, while I’m more for relaxed time away. If you’re a large family, and it’s too cumbersome to involve everyone, why not narrow it down to three or four locations, and take a poll?

2. Plan Flexibly – I think that sometimes it really helps to have a list of things you want to do, so that you don’t miss out while you’re there. I always research TripAdvisor, guidebooks, etc. to work out exactly what I want to see while I’m away. The reality is, though, that it’s worth prioritising that itinerary, and mapping which areas of the city / region they’re in, so you know what to twin. If you end up simply visiting one attraction after another, after another, after another, will you really remember them? Probably not. I’ve found it’s better to visit maybe three things and take away awesome memories, than ten places and all I remember is feeling hot and rushed! Be flexible – stop spontaneously, don’t cram everything in, and make sure your expectation of how much sightseeing you’ll do is a realistic one.

The ‘EN ROUTE’ Steps:

1. Airport Gifting – So you get to the airport before your flight, and you’ve got your two hours or whatever to kill. If you are like me, you end up saying that you’re going to go window shopping and then buying something you really do not need. In Greece last year, I looked at the price of ‘duty free’ Hendrick’s Gin (my tipple of choice), and found it was more expensive than on Amazon! And, let’s face it, who needs to lug an extra kilo or so in your hand luggage, when the nice Amazon couriers could do that for you to your door? So, you’re probably thinking there’s no alternative, other than putting on blinkers as you walk through the departure lounge. My favourite idea is to buy a treat in advance that I can use at the airport – there’s nothing like cracking the spine on a new book that I can’t wait to read. For children, opt for colouring books or a favourite toy.

2. Flying Fears – I used to be scared to fly, mainly post 9/11, but I’ve always been a little uncertain of things like turbulence and bumpy runways! I’ve found just by travelling more, I’ve increased my ability to tolerate being in one of those big metal canisters in the sky – that, and the strong focus on the destination! If your fear is more than just discomfort, get help before you go – psychotherapy, hypnosis, whatever you want to try. BUT. Remember you don’t have to go on a plane to have a good holiday: you don’t need to put yourself through trauma to get away from it all. Don’t push yourself on the journey, if it’ll be to the detriment of your vacation.

3. Food For Flying – Aeroplane food is rarely good, and you do not have to eat it just because it’s free. I always take my own, or – if it’s a longer flight – I make sure I order a healthy special meal in advance. The same goes for alcohol… Just because it’s free, you don’t need to take it. Sorry for having to break that to you! If you do drink, make sure you drink plenty of water – as someone who has ended up tipsy and dehydrated, and had to stand in a security line at JFK for two hours, trust me… hydrate!

4. Hygienic High Life – Aeroplanes are full of germs, whether on objects or on those fellow passengers. I once travelled on a flight to NYC, next to a sneezing and coughing guy. Sure enough, three days later, I ended up with a vacation cold. I now use hand sanitizers and wipes, and make sure I’m getting a good amount of Vitamin C in the days preceding the flight.

The ‘WHILE WE’RE THERE’ Steps:

1. Routines In Paradise – It can be hard to be away from normality for some of us, since our usual schedules and rituals get interrupted. I like to set up new routines from the first day of the holiday. It might be simple, like getting up at a certain time, or something harder to implement, like restricting work email checks to once a day.

2. Triggers Don’t Vacay – It’s easy to think that because you’re on holiday, everything will be different and nothing will bother you like it does at home. This is so untrue. Stress may be lessened by being out of your usual environment, but that doesn’t mean that the things which make you angry, sad, frustrated, and so on at home wont do likewise on a beach in paradise! I try to acknowledge that certain things will cause an emotional reaction in me, and avoid them when I’m away, just like I would at home.

3. Bikini Bothers – I have body image issues, and the idea of wearing swimwear on public beaches always shakes me up. Before I next go away, I’ll be finding myself a swimsuit that I love – I need to at last feel comfortable in my clothing, even if I feel great discomfort in my brain! I’ll also pick quieter beaches, when I can, and – if I’m really not feeling confident in my body – there are plenty of hotel rooms and Air BnB properties with private pools. I also work on distracting myself from comparing myself to others around me, with good books and music.

4. Holiday Hunger – I tend to eat more food, and more frequently, when I’m away and this leads to inevitable weight gain. I try to relax when on holiday and let myself enjoy the local fare, with anything in moderation. That said, if you are hellbent on sticking to your food regime, you can check out many restaurants’ menus online: choose before you get there, and stick to your plan. I also love suites and Air BnBs that have a kitchen – I adore going to local markets and cooking regional recipes.

5. That 10am Pina Colada – You know what I’m talking about, right? That feeling that because it’s hot, and your toes are dipped in a swimming pool, cocktails are a must have! For me, that’s the beginning of the end – the earlier I start drinking, the more likely the alcohol is to have a depressant effect later. Yuck. For me, it’s partly that I feel I “should” do what everyone else round the pool doing – the more I learn to respect myself as an individual, the easier it becomes to make my own path.

6. Too Much Togetherness – You ever had too much of a good thing? If you’re used to spending a lot of time alone, it can be hard to be thrust into somebody’s presence 24/7 for a long holiday. There is nothing wrong with feeling fed up with another person, since that’s just human nature. The way that I deal with this is to have different activities, maybe take yourself off to the spa while your partner goes and has a swim or stays in the villa. It’s okay to do some things separately, if you’re enjoying doing other things together. I also try to make a real effort to communicate honestly how I’m feeling, if I need some space or whatever.

I hope you find these tips helpful: remember you can find more in the Wilde About Wellbeing podcast episode!